You are an amazing mom!!!!

Dear self,
       I am here to tell you, to stop being so hard on you, you are doing the best you can, I know it, you know it, everyone knows it.   I know you are filling up with guilt because you feel like you let your son down tonight.  You feel like you broke routine and devastated that sleeping little boy who lays peaceful in his bed all because you were preoccupied and forgot to go in and give him his final hug and kiss ( after the hundreds you already gave) that is ever so important to him and you.   To make the guilt worse you found your phone and saw text message after text message from your husband expressing how a kiss and hug is wanted.  As you anxiously sweep the floors for the final time tonight, fighting back tears and trying everything to take your mind off of what you feel is a major failure in mommy-hood.  I am here to tell you to please take a moment to realize, that your little man went to bed happy with his dad and that he understands that his sister needed you at that particular time.
        As you learned tonight sometimes change is hard and even though unforeseen circumstances caused the nightly routine to be rocked, it does not mean his love for you shifted at all.  It does not mean he thinks your love for him has decreased and he defiantly will not lose sleep over the fact that he got to spend quality time with his dad.  I know as you sit here writing and these words are flowing onto the computer part of you believes each and every line but there is part of you who feels like you are simply trying to make a situation that felt horrible feel justified but I beg you to stop beating yourself up on a daily basis.
       You are a mommy of two happy healthy babies who look at you with eyes that see perfection, with a heart that is pure, and mind that is anxious to learn everything there is to know.   You have the  most amazing job and believe me you are doing a tremendous job at raising these two angles to be full of love, kindness, integrity, boldness and excitement.  You and your husband are raising your children in a godly home, where you love everyone, you say grace and bedtime prayers and  are creating a foundation so strong that these two babies (that are your world) are going to grow up to be amazing people who will have their own important roles to play and you are preparing them.
      Please make a promise to yourself, that even though you have all these fears everyday that you don't let them take away how good you are actually doing.  This one event tonight has turned your whole day upside down and has taken away the snuggles that were given for most of the afternoon because they are both fighting colds, the multiple hugs and kisses that were exchanged just because,  the laughs that were granted as you read silly books, and the ever exciting play-dough adventures that captivated both kiddos. Please remind yourself when the fears creep in that you are doing the best you can.  Say it over and over and believe it because you truly are an amazing mom!!!!  

A visit to Nana's and Grampa's house!!!!

           Okay today's blog is going to be a bit short  because I'm in the middle of packing and packing for four people to go away for a weekend really means I'm packing as if we were going away for a month.  My husband's parents live about two hours away, we try to get down there as much as we can but to be honest to travel with three-year-old and a one and a half year old can create some challenges.  We Usually try to leave around nap  time praying that as soon as we get into the car the kids will fall sleep and well they usually do and my husband and I get to enjoy a quite, blissful car ride where we can have a " grown up" conversation.
           My son usually naps the whole car ride where my daughter naps an hour of it and the other hour is spent giving her snacks and toys to occupy her.  We have been very lucky that for most of our trips the ride is enjoyable.   However, we have had our fair share where our plans just didn't work out.  My son is at the age where the iPad can entertain him so he's pretty easy during the two+ hour car ride.  We even engage In a fun game of finding construction vehicles which entertain the little and big man in my life so it's a win win !  My daughter on the other hand has entered the stage of hating her car seat.  Half the time when she doesn't want to go anywhere we battle it out just attempting to get her to sit down and once buckled the screams begin.   Now when she's excited to go somewhere she happily sits in her seat and plays with her doll!  I'm not really sure how the trip will go I can pray it will go by perfectly without a hitch.  Which means, my husband and I will have a chance to unwind and just be a couple but I have prepared myself for he other possibility which is just Plain TROUBLE!
                There could be a fumble on the field and the opposing team ends up with the ball.  Which will ultimately end with my husband getting a little irritated and My anxiety skyrocketing  through the roof so by the time we reach our destination we are all frazzeled as if we were just sacked by Warren Sapp.  Luckily we will be arriving around dinner time so Nana please pour me a big glass of wine with my dinner (heck please poor me one even if the car ride is perfect).   !    Here's the thing, I hate making this trip I barely can get there with out stopping at least once for a bathroom break and yes folks this is the first trip we will be making with a potty trained little boy. Who I'm sure will need less bathroom  breaks then his mommy !   So how can I expect my kiddeos to sit and enjoy the ride, when I hate it.  So whether the ride is a touch down or a complete loss, I'm feeling very blessed that my family is getting away and making memories.  That I'm sure one day will be the center of many family dinners!   So who will lose their cool first in the car is a guessing game, maybe to make it even more fun I will do a little friendly wager with my husband and whoever is right will be able to sleep in on Saturday morning !  Awe sleep now that's an award that is cherished by all !!!!!!  So come on mommy intuition kick in so this mommy can enjoy some extra sleep !

Let the game begin !!!

I would like to welcome you to my very first bog where I will lay everything out on the line from motherhood, adulthood, marriage really anything and everything we have to deal with in this crazy game we call life.   I don't feel like I have the answers to motherhood but I do feel like I understand the trails and tribulations that we as women face.  Some of them normal and others make us question if we are normal.   How can we be having such horrific thoughts and feelings about our very precious loved ones?  We must have something wrong with us ?  Well I'm here to shout it from the roof top "WE ARE NORMAL!"   Every day may not be perfect and enjoyable but that doesn't mean it isn't normal.  We are balancing children, husbands, family members, friends and a household that some how we are suppose to be the head coach for and the scary part, we have had no formal training for such a career.  We learn as we go hoping we are doing something right, and our players will come out champions and win at the game of life.   So I hope you join me on the journey that will be normal, real and hopefully somewhat relieving to see that maybe your not the only one out there attempting to make a touch down on a field loaded with obstacles.  Don't get me wrong,  I'll have plenty of amazing stories to share of laughter and completely silliness where I feel like I'm winning the game but I'll also be very honest on the days the
"poop storm" has hit!  ( poop storm will be explained better in my next blog, trust me you won't want to miss it !).  Oh by the way I'm a stay at home mom to a three year old little man and a little girl who is seventeen months old.  Let's  just say there's never a dull moment !